Weekly Geek Workout for Twitter Junkies

Hello and welcome to your first Weekly Geek Workout; a weekly workout supplement that will take your love for tech, movies, and all things geeky, and use it to whip your ass into shape.  The goal is to provide a daily exercise or two to add to your normal workout regiment.  Which exercise and how much you do is all based on the weekly theme and your geek cred based on that theme.  This is a fun way to push your workout just a little harder, but remember, this is meant to be added onto your normal workout.  If you are too sore or tired to do everything, then don’t!

This week is for all of you Twitter junkies out there.  If your anything like me, Twitter is a source of infinite distraction and increased screen-time.  But not this week!  Oh, no.  This week, it’s time for your Tweet tooth to take a healthy turn. (Tweet tooth… Get it?  I just made that up.  I’m the funniest, most cleverest guy I know!)  ready?  Well then, here we go:

Monday – Upper Body

Take the square root of your total number of twitter updates (on the top right of your twitter profile).  Do that number of push-ups.  For example, I would need to do 15 push-ups.  I got off easy!  Poor Leo Laporte has to do 40… Sorry Leo.

Tuesday – Abs

Head over to TweetStats, enter your twitter name, and click ‘Graph My Tweets!’.  Take the number of tweets from your most active month and divide it by your tweets per day.  Do that number of crunches and hold a left and right side plank for that number of seconds.  For example, I would do 34 crunches (55 tweets during my most active month divided by 1.6 tweets per day), a side plank for 34 seconds, and then a second side plank on the other side for 34 seconds.  If your numbers come out to be unreasonable, just do what you can, but remember to push yourself.

Wednesday – Cardio

Today will be fun!  Today, I will assume you use a Twitter app like Thwirl or Twitterrific, an app that gives an audio notification upon receiving a new tweet.  Turn up the volume on the computer, and every time you hear a new tweet, stand up and do 30 jumping jacks.  Every time you get an @ reply (someone posts a message with @yourname in the message), run in place for one minute.  Do this all day.  You can even do this at work, unless you will get fired, of course.

Thursday – Lower Body

Click on the profile of the person that has the newest tweet.  Take the square root of their total updates, like you for yourself on Monday.  That will be the total number of leg exercises to do.  Start doing ten repetitions of each of the following exercises: squats, lunges (alternating legs), mountain climbers.  Keep rotating until you meet the total number of leg exercises.

Friday – Flexibility

Go to your Twitter home page.  Count the number of unique posting methods from each of your followers.  This is the section at the end of each message that says: “

That’s It!

You’re done.  I hope you had fun with this.  Please let me know how you did, whether you enjoyed it or not, what you did different, etc.  I also want to remind you that I am not a professional, so anything I recommend or suggest has no medical basis.  Please consult your doctor to make sure you are capable of doing the exercises presented here.  Please keep checking back for updates to this series, such as the weekly geek workout for coders and the weekly geek workout for social networking nerds.  If you have any ideas, please email me or just leave a comment.  As always: Have fun and stay active!


  • http://lifeconfessions.ca Lori

    Hilarious… I am a new Twitterer so I fear I would not get a very good work out… however a few push ups are better than none right:) I had a great laugh… Loved the “tweet tooth” I might steal it… well borrow it… I will give you props if I can find you and follow you on twitter. Did I just say “props”? Sorry about that…